Don’t be a fairy

So many of us women want to go through a transformative process that often sounds like this: “I want to lose weight and tone up”.

Why do we want to do this?

A lot of the time it’s because we don’t feel the way we’d like to feel about ourselves. We lack self confidence. We want to feel good in certain clothes. We want society’s approval of how we look. People can feel so lost in finding any form of self confidence that they look for something that resonates with them and who they strive to be elsewhere. Namely, social media.

. *see’s a fit chick on Instagram
. “Wow I’d love to look and feel like her”
. *clicks follow
. * buys Instagram girl’s merch
. * forgets about themselves
. * makes no real progress

Obviously this is a slight exaggeration but you get the idea.

So many women try to undergo a transformative process. They try so hard but fail time and time again. Why?

1. They spend too much time idolising Instagram girls, wishing they could be like th.
2. They spend too much time playing with their hair and makeup at the gym trying to look pretty
3. They spend endless hours in the gym doing stuff that doesn’t work. Not really knowing what they’re doing, or why they’re doing it.
4. They’ve never taken the time to seek help and advice from a professional.
5. They’re too focused on the end vision of how they’ll look.
6. They freak out and jump ship when they see the scales go up.

My job isn’t about dictatorship or simply knowing what to put in a programme. My job is about making people want to train, make them trust in my guidance and most importantly, make them enjoy the process. The problem isn’t “How can I lose weight and tone up?” The problem is “How do I want to do the work and make time to do it?”

Deciding you want to begin a transformative journey is about first having your mind set and focused on your goal, but rather than being focused solely on that end vision, you must focus on what you need to do now, today. The “magic” lies in honing in on the experience, the enjoyment. It’ll be seemingly easier than it will be if you’re fixated on scale numbers, unsustainable diets and that very end vision of how you will look at feel. [would edit this to say : “This way, it’ll seem easier than if you’re fixated…”)

Truth is, you will never be like that girl on Instagram. It’s an unrealistic goal to have and will immediately set you up for failure.

It’s all about you. You must be confident in yourself and your willingness to learn and make a positive change. It doesn’t matter if you can’t do a push up, or a squat, or a triple backflip. What matters is being focused on what it takes to get where you want to be.

It’s not about consistent motivation or perfection. It’s about determination, being consistent in your efforts and making the most of your resources. Focus on what really matters. Your lifestyle, developing positive habits, your mental health. It’s a mental transformation as much as it is physical.

I’ve spent years doing all sorts of strength training bits and pieces. First focusing on athletic performance to keep me light yet fast and powerful to fight -61Kg. Then I decided I just wanted to build muscle and get strong AF. I wasn’t worried about the scales or weight categories anymore. Now I’m in the process of wanting to shed some fat to show some muscle.

I sweat shit loads. I make funny faces when I’m trying to push a few more reps out. My hair falls out of my pony tail. I get the shakes. I occasionally want to cry. But that’s okay, because I don’t show up to training to look pretty. I show up to put in the work even if I’m not feeling 100%.

It’s a mad journey, but you need to be honest about your goals and tap into the emotions of why you want to achieve them.

So what’s the takeaway message?

Don’t jump ship just because something isn’t quite how you expected it to be.
Take time to pause throughout your journey and appreciate where you’re at. It’ll instll a lot more drive and determination than idolising an Instagram chick ever will. Be strong mentally and physically. Don’t be a fairy